What's the Big Deal?

I am constantly surprised by people who greet my journey with negativity. How is my doing a 40 day juice feast threatening to anyone? I am not harming myself or anyone else. I am not losing weight too rapidly, nor do I look sickly and thin. I'm 159.5 lbs on a 5'7" In fact, that 1 lb I'm up from last week puts me back in the overweight category on the BMI. So, what's the big deal?

During this run, a friend decided he would try a juice feast for 3 - 8 days. He came in at 7. As I knew it would be, the first 3 days were miserable. Kicking alcohol, sugar, coffee and cutting out meat and dairy is enough to make anyone cranky for a few days. But once he made it beyond that point, he actually started feeling good. He has since reincorporated all to his diet, but in much smaller portions than before. He is eating less, and with some ups and downs, has kept off the 8 lbs he took off that week. But the big difference he noticed when he returned to food was that everything tasted different. Fruit really did seem like an appropriate dessert, and veggies tasted great. Heck, even a salad wasn't so bad!

For my part, I already know that I appreciate food more than I once did. I spent my childhood eating Hostess Honey Buns, and never touching a piece of fruit unless it was in a McDonald's or Table Talk Fruit Pie. By the time I was 12, I was a size 15. I would eventually max out at a size 20. There's nothing like high school for making someone want to lose weight, so I tried. And I got down to a size 14. I didn't really change what I was eating, I just ate a lot less. I became a vegetarian, for animal rights issues more than liking vegetables, and didn't lose an ounce. You can be a vegetarian and still eat tons of processed foods. So, when eating less didn't work, and I went the Jane Fonda route. Still nothing.

Like so many Americans, when all else fails, I turned to drugs. In my late teens, early twenties experimental drug phase, I lost weight. Depression helped too. Being broke helped even more. For at least one semester of undergrad, my income was $7/month above my rent. And I was down to a size 10.

But the problem with the experimental drug phase is feeling like you're going to die, so I stopped taking drugs. It was really a no-brainer. But, like any ex-smoker will tell you, you always replace one obsession with another. Drugs were out, food was in. Food was out, alcohol was in. Alcohol was out, and food was back in. Food was always my go-to fix all. I wasn't good with vices, but I was great with food. So, all during my twenties and thirties, I yo-yo'd . I was never as thin as I was when I had done drugs, and I knew it. So, I went to a doctor.

Part of the classic interpretation of the Hippocratic Oath is " I will neither give a deadly drug to anybody if asked for it, nor will I make a suggestion to this effect." After years of struggling with my weight, I found a doctor to help me. He prescribed an injectable used primarily as part of a cocktail of fertility drugs to increase my metabolism. He recommended increased exercise. He told me to eat not more than 500 calories/day, and the majority of that needed to be protein. When I still wasn't losing weight, he prescribed phentermine, which was one half of Phen-Phen. I lost weight. I was high as a kite, but I was thin. and as an actor, I was told that I had done the best thing I possibly could for my career.

But, I couldn't maintain the drugs. I constantly felt like planes were flying too low and shaking the house I lived in. I didn't realize that I was the only one shaking. I weaned myself off the injectable, but I loved my "happy pills". I was miserably depressed without them. But I got off them all the same. I even maintained the weight I had lost, for about a year. But because my diet was terrible, when work no longer allowed for my hour of exercise each day, the weight came back with a vengence.

This is my second juice feast. I am not thin. I will not model swimwear in this lifetime. But for the first time, I feel good. I feel great actually. I have plenty of energy, and I am working to make myself stronger. I've ut food from my diet that doesn't make me feel good when I eat it. I'm drinking green juices, and green protein. So, what's the big deal?

Daily Breakdown: Monday

JuicesConsumed: Litchi Juice; Cantaloupe/Pear/Celery/Carrot/Papaya/Pineapple, Vega/Water/Banana

Weight Loss:  1 lb (Juice Feast Total: 14 lbs)

Bodily Functions:  Not so normal still. Or perhaps "minimal activity" is the best way to put it.

Exercise: Biked to and from work, 45 min each way.